To Judge or Not to Judge

Judgment happens everywhere, every day. Based on how we look, talk and walk. We are constantly judged and knowingly or unknowingly, also judging others. I have definitely gotten better at noticing when I am judging others. Judging others has got nothing to do with the person getting judged, but everything to do with you.



As a community mentor at Touching Lives, one of my responsibilities is connecting with the family members of children attending our class. Twice in a month, we visit our students’ homes, to check in with their family members regarding their well-being. During one of my visits, I came across a girl. She was not a student, but an older sibling of a student.

Every time I saw her, I was struck by her pretty face with those beautiful eyes and her smile. Her mother often welcomed me warmly. But the girl did not come forward to speak with me, or even greet me. At first I thought may be she was shy. But this continued over the next couple of home visits too. Every time I went to meet the family, I was curious if the girl would talk to me that day. But she remained distant over the following couple of visits too. Now that bothered me a little bit. Somewhere in my head, I began to build a story about why she did not speak with me. I thought maybe she does not speak with me because she is beautiful. Maybe she is a little bit rude. But over a period of time, I realized that maybe I was overthinking it. So the next time I went to meet the family, I went over to her and extended my hand and said hi. Although she didn’t say anything, she did shake my hand and smiled timidly.

‘My name is Sonam and yours?’ I asked her with a big smile. Her reply was a deep stare and a big smile back. She just kept smiling and looking at me and her mother with those shiny eyes. I was waiting for her to answer. But the answer came from her mother ‘She cannot speak, she is mute.’ she told me. I took a pause and kept looking at her for few seconds. There were tiny tears in my eyes. And that smile on her face is still engraved in my heart.

I believe that if we observe our thoughts, appreciate ourselves, and stop comparing ourselves with others, we can be a lot less judgmental and interact with people more freely and openly.



Sonam, who is one of our community leaders at Touching Lives, proudly shares her dream of being a dance choreographer, an Air hostess, a Model, and an RJ. She is currently studying in SY BMM and regularly contributes to the Touching Lives blog.

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